Limerick Poems
“Your apology’s rather belated,”
Said the gal to a fellow she hated.
“Your delay makes me fear
That it isn’t sincere—
You still had your hair when we dated!”
Dear folks at the
Fed IRS,
Your rules and your regs are a mess.
You’re unfair to the poor.
Middle class Even more.
So beware, cuz I know your address.
Before I was
married I dated
Hardly ever, cause dating I hated.
Then I met hubby Mark,
Which created a spark.
Elated, we dated and mated.
Your argument
doesn’t make sense.
It’s absurd and illogical. Hence,
I must find for the plaintiff.
You’ve lost this insane tiff.
You simply don’t have a defense.
I once took a
trip to Sedona--
that's a town in northwest Arizona.
I purchased a hat
from a blind acrobat,
but the hat had a savage persona.
I decided to make it my friend;
we enjoy playing games of pretend.
If you ever are blue
and have nothing to do;
buy a hat, is what I recommend.
There was an Old
Man with a beard,
Who said, 'It is just as I feared!
Two Owls and a Hen,
Four Larks and a Wren,
Have all built their nests in my beard!'
There was an Old Man of Kilkenny,
Who never had more than a penny;
He spent all that money,
In onions and honey,
That wayward Old Man of Kilkenny.
I sell the best
Brandy and Sherry
To make all my customers merry,
But at times their finances
Run short as it chances,
And then I feel very sad, very.
To which MacCraith replied??..
O?Tuama! You boast yourself handy,
At selling good ale and bright Brandy
But the fact is your liquor
Makes everyone sicker,
I tell you this I your good friend, Andy.
He’s a
cheapskate, so stingy with cash,
That he threw an embarrassing bash
When his daughter was wed
He paid eight bucks a head,
So no band, booze, or blooms — only hash.
There once was a
federal judge
Who was famous for holding a grudge.
But his clerk found a way
To get him to say,
“I forgive you.” She bribed him with fudge.
It’s outrageous,
a rip-off, a gyp
What we paid for that terrible trip.
And to make matters worse,
I lost baggage and purse.
I believe they went down with the ship.
The weather
outside isn’t nice,
And the walks are all covered with ice.
I seem to recall
That it’s technic’ly fall.
Would I leave New York City No dice!
Please stop all
the clocks. Cut the phone.
Pull the plug on each ‘puter you own.
Ain’t the silence sublime
As you go back in time
With your thoughts you’re at last all alone.